Wednesday, 1 April 2015

And so, My Loved Ones, I must Die

Somewhere someone is making love –
Maybe bird maybe beast or man
Somewhere a child is being conceived
And I am that child.
So I have a date to keep
For that I’ll have to die, again.

Somewhere a mother is heavy with child –
Maybe beast maybe ape or woman
She’s my mother, I’ll suckle at her breast
And if I don’t go now, if I stay on here
My mother will hold a stillborn child 
To her breast and grieve and wail
And so I have a date to keep
So I must die, again.

And elsewhere a child is born –
Who some years hence will seek my love
I must not keep my lover waiting
Or she’ll pass her days in barren need.
Oh yes I have a date to keep
So I must die, again.

And my lover and I must then conceive
Our children waiting to be born
My unborn children call to me
The mother of my children calls to me
They all will die so that we can meet
And so my loved ones, I must go.

My mother, lover, children, friends 
In an unborn future forming yet –
I love them as I love you all
So I love my death as I love my life
Death is the gateway that will take me there
To be with my people, my loved ones
And so I must die, again.

Goodbye my dears, fare you well
I travel light, my baggage shed
I’ll pass away in blood and pain
In blood and pain be born again
But gaze deeper into the pain
And all you’ll see is love and life.


PS: Relax. Chill. This is not a suicide note; it’s a love note. Yes, it’s a kind of farewell note written in advance. Relax, I don’t anticipate being murdered — but if it happens, no regrets and no hard feelings. Whatever happens will happen because it has to, when it has to — maybe soon, maybe later, who knows?  

Why do I write this? Because it’s a thought to which I needed to give an existence outside my own head. Because I am who I am. Because I live and feel the way I do. Because I am mortal, and I cherish being mortal. Because the thought of my mortality is never far from my mind. Because this has been a good life with all of you. Because I’m here for a purpose, and when that purpose is fulfilled, I will no longer be needed here. Because I love you all. Because I love Mumbai, love Maharashtra and love India. Because I love my parents, my wife and children, and my animal friends. Because I am always with you all, even when I am alone.

Because, when the time comes, I’ll melt away and dissolve into you. I’ll be even more intimately with you than I am now. I will be in your every breath, your every heartbeat. I will embrace you with every molecule of my being.

Bless you all for being a part of my life.

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