Poem: Night Without Peace
In the unforgiving light of this morning, Unwilling to open my eyes, Unable to face myself and the world And you, I cower and cringe in bed. I look back at what we said and did last night A night of resentment, simmering anger, Recriminations and vengeful thoughts, Lashing out with clever, witty, cruel remarks… And when the guilt grew intolerable, I lashed out in animal fury. A restless night of tossing and turning, and wishing The bitter conversation had not happened at all, Wishing we could somehow wipe the slate clean And re-establish a peace where neither of us Would feel defeated or rubbished Or guilty. A night of wishing for warmth and love and forgiveness, And also wishing to strike a blow that brought you to your knees in pain… Wishing to wipe your tears, wishing you would wipe mine… I ponder: What part was your fault, and what must I own up? Should I have said what I said? Should I have said it all with the viciousness that I did? And yet, given what you said and did ...