The Brave Pedestrian

Maharashtrian married women routinely use "Murdya" or "Melya" (meaning a dead man, a corpse) for referring to their husbands. For instance, if a man is demanding sex and a woman decides to yield, she may say something like, "Ghe re melya" or "Ghe re murdya" (Take it, you dead man). It's a derogatory word, but generally acceptable, and men don't react to it very badly. Having such a vocabulary makes it easier for a woman to deal with her husband's pressure to have sex. By routinely referring her husband in the third person as "melya", she reconciles to a man's more frequent need for sexual activity as something that is part of his nature. She may not like it, but she resigns herself to it. She does not take it personally when he forces himself on her, any more than she would feel violated by, say, a child that insisted on suckling. The question of "marital rape" does not arise in this cultural context, eve...

[Note: This was originally written for a western audience. Hence the explanations for some well known Indian words. Still, it may make for some enjoyable reading] We in the East have a word,  Ananda,  which roughly translates as Contentment or Freedom from Neediness. The word describes, not the kind of contentment that one may have after a sumptuous meal, but rather, the mellow afterglow that one experiences post a session of perfect lovemaking and a good night’s sleep. However,  Ananda  is not contingent on any external event like sex, because it is deeply within. To an Eastern mind, it is relatively easy to understand that while success and wealth gives happiness, it also gives one an appetite for even greater success and wealth, rather than the psychological means to enjoy what one has attained. To be content, one has to cease all striving, at least internally. A lot of successful people are described as being like swans, “calm at the surface, but furiously paddl...