The Brave Pedestrian

Throughout the length and breadth of the land, the infamy of Samirah, the rebellious and once-cast-out third wife of The #Messenger (blessings!), preceded her. The oracle in the mountains of Zo'am had prophesied that Samirah would be with child in nine moons, although The #Messenger (blessings!) had turned away from her in anger, and ceased to lie with her. And verily, Samirah defied her lord and master, and swore to conceive a child. And lo and behold, on the nineth moon after the Day of Offerings, Samirah's belly swelled. "By what wickedness have you conceived this child?" asked Za'kilah, fifth wife of The #Messenger (blessings!). At that moment, a donkey brayed in the yard of their neighbour, Harugh the woodcutter. And Za'kilah rushed out to see and beheld that the donkey was in heat. "Confess! You have lain with the donkey, and brought shame to the tribe! Have you no piety, woman? Have you no respect for the man who wived you?" said Za'...

And thereupon it came to pass, on the Fourteenth Day of Za'karah, that The #Messenger (blessings!) and his tribe, whom he had led away from the cursed land of B'azilah, were resting in the mountains of Zo'am where they had taken up residence. And Za'kilah, fifth wife of The #Messenger (blessings!), saw that the toilet bowls were filthy, having been shat upon by her fifteen children, but the toilet brush and broom were nowhere to be found. "And how, in the name of the Great Rickrack Rock, am I supposed to clean up this mess?" Za'kilah questioned The #Messenger (blessings!). The words of The #Messenger (blessings!) issued forth from the divine pie hole. "You may cut your hair and tie it to my staff, woman, and it shall be your toilet brush and broom. And you may cut the shredded gown on your body, which you brought from your father's household 15 moons ago, and it shall be the swab to wipe the floor with. Ask me no further questions, for th...