The Brave Pedestrian

I have passed this way before And nostalgia grips me now Asks me to seek out old haunts Revisit old friends Peer into unknown faces Gaze into their eyes for a mark of familiarity Perchance to say, or to hear, “ I know you, although you Have forgotten me. We have met before And loved When you were someone else And I had a different face… “ And this, my long-lost friend… This is where you sorrowed For your many losses And we shed our tears with you, for you. “ See these trees that have grown so tall Indifferent to your existence or mine… We watered them together In a bygone age When they were saplings. By giving them our tears We gave them life. “ And these stone walls still echo Our whispers, our laughter Yours and mine. The dusty silences still hold Our memories frozen in time Although you have forgotten.” Nostalgia… Memories that are not quite memories But only a place in the mind where memories used to live… ...

It is half filled And it remains only half filled No matter what I achieve Or acquire. It is half empty And it remains only half empty No matter what I fail at doing Or what I lose. (Ah! But this cup feels fuller when I give And when I’m given. And it feels a little more empty When I withhold Or when someone withholds from me!) I keep running everyday Like a rat on a treadmill Hoping that somehow I shall fill my cup to the brim And dance in ecstasy with the gods. I live in the fear that Some act or failure to act Will spill my cup And leave me dying of thirst – A meaningless creature in the desert of existence. Truth is, The cup of this mind that I inhabit Can never be fuller than it is now Nor can it ever be drained. I know this. I’ve known all along... But what to do? The itch of desire The ache of anxiety Demands a response, demands action, Not thoughtfulness, Not wisdom.

Preface:  I could quote scripture at many points in support of what I’m about to say, but I’m not going to. Why? Because deriving authority by quoting “holy books” is an effort to prevent people from arguing with you; I think it’s unfair.  I believe we’re never really comfortable until we have figured out, and put to rest, the riddle of our own mortality, which we experience like this: In our heads, we know that any one of us can die at any moment, ie. we are mortal. But in our heart of hearts, each of us thinks: it can’t happen to me ie. I am immortal. Each of us deals with this riddle or paradox in different ways. A few of us do it by never thinking about it, as though it’s unimportant or irrelevant. Many of us like to take on faith the views of death offered by our own religions, or other religions, or by a guru like Rajneesh. A few may modify these given views in little ways to suit their personal beliefs. I for one have dealt with the paradox...

NEWS FLASH!!! If you’re still looking for God, it’s because you believe God is what will fill up the gaps and holes in your life. If you know God is what is making your life  whole  despite the gaps and holes, you’ve probably found God already, and have no further reason to look. Of course, even after you’ve found God, you may keep trying to fill up the holes. That’s because you’re only human. However, you may stop praying for God to do the job for you. That’s because you realize that it doesn’t really,  really  matter whether the holes are filled up or not. But you know what? I find that not caring about the holes, and taking notice of what is whole in your life, shrinks up the holes really fast. When you’re no longer praying for stuff to put into your holes, and when you’re only praying in grateful recognition of whatever is whole in your life, the parts that are whole are nourished and grow, and the needy parts — the holes — diminish by not only losing imp...