Thursday, 26 January 2017

Stop wishing history were different, you lucky sperm, you!

If World War II hadn't happened, you & I wouldn't have been born. Because you and I are a one-in-a-trillion-trillion egg-sperm combinations that got incredibly lucky. Our dads produced 250 million sperms everytime they ejaculated, and 99 times out of 100, they ejaculated in their hands. So you and I and everyone else on this planet are the product of astronomical odds. Your maternal grandma had to meet your grandpa and conceive your mom, and ditto your paternal grandparents, and then your mom and dad had to do it at precisely that moment, and therefore here you are, reading this blasphemous post. Think about that for a moment.

Why is this relevant? Because people casually say things like, "If Sardar Patel instead of Nehru had been the Prime Minister, things would have been very different today". Yes, true, but you and I would not be there to experience it.

If anything had gone even slightly different -- if your mom had so much as sneezed when your dad shot his load into her -- you wouldn't have been alive. If she had felt an urgent need to pee afterwards, you, my friend, would have ended up in the toilet bowl. Yeah, someone else would have been there, but not YOU, my friend.

So before you say. "I wish things were different," bite your tongue.


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