The Brave Pedestrian

16th November, 2016: Prime Minister Narendra Modi's next big surprise may well be to declare a state of National Emergency. Here's how Modi's game plan for declaring Emergency can play out, step-by-step: 1) Thanks to demonetization, millions of tiny marginal businesses around the country, such as hawkers, tailoring shops, roadside tea-shops, cycle-rickshaws, fish-vendors, etc. will not be able to bear the loss of a few weeks livelihood due to our present "cashless" state, and they will close down. 2) Millions of vegetable farmers and small dairy farms which supply perishable goods like eggs and chicken will suffer terrible losses due to spoilage of their goods, which regular consumers will avoid buying simply because they have no cash. 3) Widespread business failures, cash shortages, joblessness and hunger will cause desperation, strikes and rioting. 4) Modi's right-wing bhakt army will brand these strikers, rioters and looters as anti-natio...

Never ever ever ever question Modiji's great leadership. Ever! He has valiantly led the surgical strikes from the frontlines, and we, the only true patriots, will willingly lay down our lives for him! "Never doubt that khakhi chuddies can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." -- with apologies to Margaret Mead. The Surgical Strike happened! It did! We kicked Pakistan's ass. And it happened exactly as our great and glorious leader Narendra Modi says it happened. Exactly that way -- because Narendra Modi is the only true leader since Independence. He has proof, even though he does not want to show any proof. It's not fair to ask him for proof, because he is Our Glorious Leader (Praise Be Upon Him). Every single Prime Minister who came before Narendra Modi (except Atal Behari Vajpayee) was a nincompoop and a liar.  Actually, even Gandhi was a closet gay, a child-molester and a coward. It is actually Golwalkar, Hedgewar and Godse -...