On New Year's eve, Modi-ji will make a surprise announcement, ordering that every Indian should be publicly spanked by the police. Bhakts will be seen lining up with bare bottoms in front of police stations, and advising us that it is every Indian's patriotic duty to accept their spanking gracefully and gratefully, so that the corrupt black-money hoarders get a spanking. Every patriotic Indian must stand in line and accept a public spanking for the good of the nation. "No other leader since Independence has had the great vision or the daring to spank the black-money hoard ers," the bhakts will proclaim. "Surely, after this spanking, nobody will dare to accept bribes or hoard black money again," they will argue, telling all of us khangresis , sickulars and leftists to take our pants off. After three days, our great prime minister will appear on television, shedding tears of joy and pride about how millions of Indians with reddened and bru...